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Discover how to love and lead your family well and biblically. A podcast hosted by Dr. Corey Gilbert featuring issues important to building healthy marriages and families from a biblical worldview. Dr. Gilbert has a heart for marriages and families that honor God and one another. He interviews other experts, those with personal stories, and even uses his own kids to model hard conversations. He Interviews real people that overcame! He is the Founder and Owner of the HealingLives Center: A Center for Sex, Trauma, & Marriage Education and Transformation. Dr. Gilbert is author of 2 books and the Creator of the Trauma to Transformed Program, the Going Beyond The Talk Program, and the Healing Marriage Community, Intensive, and Membership.
Episodes
Monday Jul 22, 2019
Monday Jul 22, 2019
Gilbert, C. (2019). I can't say that: Going beyond the talk: Equipping your children to make choices about gender and sexuality from a biblical sexual ethic.
In this episode, Dr. Gilbert shares how fascinating discoveries coming out of the fields of neuroscience and interpersonal neurobiology reveal God’s perfect design of our bodies and our masculinity and femininity. There are no mistakes. Why do you do the things you do in the way that you do them?
Did you know that there is one interesting cure and/or treatment for many of the physical and mental health issues many of us face? In his book The Brain in Love, Dr. Daniel Amen states that sex is an incredible healing force—a medicine. He says, “Making love on a regular basis improved mood, memory, and overall health.” He continues to drive home the point with a study that found that regular sexual activity “decreased the risk of heart attack and stroke by fifty percent.” He concludes: “Hold the medicine, give me love.”What does sex do to and for our bodies? It strengthens and lengthens our life expectancy. Sex positively impacts and renovates our immune system functioning. Sex can also be associated with more joy, a reduction in physical pain, and improved sexual and reproductive health.
Researchers have correlated sexual activity with a decrease in the two leading causes of death in the United States—heart disease and cancer. This should have you very excited right now and anticipating good times with your marriage partner. I hope so. Let us look at each of these benefits one by one.
When sex and sexuality are in the right place in a person’s mind and body, the experience of sex tends to help reduce stress hormones. This also leads to a reduction of anxiety and a decrease in a person’s violent tendencies and hostility. The research also found that they key to these healthy benefits of sex was found in thoughtful sexual activity with a committed partner.
Matthew 19:5–6 describes the design in very simple terms, “And he said, ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together” (NLT). Marriage is the only context for sexual activity. One man and one woman only. For life.
[1] Institute for Sexual Wholeness. http://sexualwholeness.com
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Friday Jul 19, 2019
Friday Jul 19, 2019
Gilbert, C. (2019). I can't say that: Going beyond the talk: Equipping your children to make choices about gender and sexuality from a biblical sexual ethic.
Have you thought through your beliefs, or theology of marriage? What about sex in marriage?
How was this topic dealt with in your church, community, or home growing up?
The reality is that there are many influences that impacted the development of our ethic on marriage and sex in marriage. Some of the influences that tend to have the most impact are:
- Our personal experience
- Family history
- Lack of conversation (the problem of silence)
- Biblical precedent (and/or interpretation)
If we are not careful, our personal experience growing up in our homes and the surrounding culture will shape our beliefs about marriage more than the Word of God. Sex is now one of the most pervasive problems in marriage. If we step back, we can see its impact on many lives from abuse, pornography, and the objectification of women that affects the whole of society, degrading and impacting marriages as well.
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Wednesday Jul 17, 2019
Wednesday Jul 17, 2019
Gilbert, C. (2019). I can't say that: Going beyond the talk: Equipping your children to make choices about gender and sexuality from a biblical sexual ethic.
Chapter 3 - Sex Ed for Parents
In this episode, Dr. Gilbert explains why it is important that parents develop a theology of sex. We may say that we believe one thing, but our children can tell by our actions and reactions what we truly believe. We cannot eliminate sexuality but in practice we act as though it does not exit when it comes to our children and conversations. We must address sex and sexuality at every age. Research tell us that 70% of teens have engaged in sexual behaviors and so we must prepare them beforehand with knowledge - with a theology of sex.
Nancy Pearcey's book, Love Thy Body, explores the origins of many of the troubling problems we are facing today. Similarly, Christopher West, makes John Paul II's work, Theology of the Body, accessible to readers. Both of these works lay out a theology of sex and sexuality that encompasses the totality of who we are as humans made in the image of God.
Dr. Gilbert shares scriptures to remind parents of the importance of developing a biblical sexual ethic for themselves and their children that honors God and treat others with respect. We honor God with our bodies through the discipline of self-control. I appeal to you have celebration with chastity! Sex is to be enjoyed within boundaries. It is important that while we teach our children that God has established boundaries that we also tell them that they were created with desire and desire is not sin. Desire requires stewardship.
Your story matters. God invented sex. He love sex. He did not mess it up - we did. The Bible has a lot to say on sexuality. Examine the scriptures for yourself and prayerfully seek understanding of what this means for your family.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-8; Titus 2:2-8, 11-12; Ecclesiastes 7:16-18; Romans 12:1; 1 John 4:12b; Song of Solomon 5:16; Proverbs 5:15; 1 Peter 5:8
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Monday Jul 15, 2019
Monday Jul 15, 2019
Gilbert, C. (2019). I can't say that: Going beyond the talk: Equipping your children to make choices about gender and sexuality from a biblical sexual ethic.
In this episode Dr. Gilbert encourages us all to be lifelong learners - especially in the area of basic human sexuality. We MUST be willing to understand the basics of this complex subject from a biological, medical, social, and Biblical perspective so that we can pass it on to our children. The alternative is that we delegate this responsibility to other people who may or may not have our child's best interest at heart.
Do you know God's word and what the Bible does and does NOT say on the complicated issues of today?
2 Timothy 1:7 says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline”. You can do this! You can be the teacher and the model that your children need as you lead with love.
1 Corinthians 2:16 “For, who can know the Lord’s thoughts? Who knows enough to teach Him? But we understand these things, for we have the mind of Christ”
In surveying hundreds of college students over the past 12 years, Dr. Gilbert has seen that students desperately wanted to have conversations with their parents when they were living at home, but their parents would not engage. Many parents wrongly assumed that their child knew "I'm an open book. They can ask me anything" and would come to them with questions or concerns. Parents, you must be the adult and initiate the conversation.
We must prepare our children to recognize that there is danger ahead and that they will face temptation. As they understand their own weaknesses, they can intentionally build community to come alongside them.
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Tuesday Jul 09, 2019
Tuesday Jul 09, 2019
Gilbert, C. (2019). I can't say that: Going beyond the talk: Equipping your children to make choices about gender and sexuality from a biblical sexual ethic.
In this episode, Dr. Gilbert encourages parents to go look beyond their children's behavior and ask questions that get to the heart of what they are really thinking, believing, and feeling. Have you asked them hard questions about sexuality, gender, and pornography? Have you discussed the current issues in the culture? It is imperative that parents recognize that they are always leading even if it is not always intentionally.
To lead our children into a Biblical sexual ethic, we need to do three things: 1. We need to be willing to look at our own story, the traumas and regrets in our past, and acknowledge how it affects us. 2. We need to consider our own beliefs on the issues of sexuality and gender. 3. We need to search God's Word for a proper understanding of these issues and for wisdom in how to love people for whom these things are more than just issues.
Research that is being done on the neuroplasticity of the brain encourages us that we do not have to be stuck where we are and that we can learn new things. Dr. Caroline Leaf's research on epigenetics shows that our thoughts affect our genes and how they are expressed. What we think and how we think about our work, our relationships, and our purpose determines much of our physical and mental health.
Commit to being a lifelong learner. Commit to be a person who thoughtfully builds their own ETHOS. Be a person who understand the culture and the pressures that your children are facing.
Order my new book by clicking here:
Tuesday Jul 09, 2019
Tuesday Jul 09, 2019
Gilbert, C. (2019). I can't say that: Going beyond the talk: Equipping your children to make choices about gender and sexuality from a biblical sexual ethic.
In this episode, Dr. Gilbert addresses that we are not meant to live life alone, but that we are meant be involved in community so that we can be supported in our times of need and then in turn support others. In Titus 2: 3-5, Paul encourages those that are older men and women to come alongside those younger than them and model how we are to live in this world. Are you involved in a community of believers? Do you have others that you can go to with your questions or for prayer? Do others know that you care for them? By being involved in an intentionally chosen community, you put others in place to speak into the life of your children and you are able to speak into the lives of others.
When our children leave home, if we have simply used the years they had with us to "protect" them from the world, then they are not prepared to make choices from a Biblical sexual ethic when they are confronted with issues like sexting. Our silence on these issues is deadly. We need to be willing to enter into the difficult micro-conversations and disciple our children when they are still willing to listen to us. We need to be honest about our mistakes and seek forgiveness when necessary.
George Barna's excellent book, Revolutionary Parenting, details the research he conducted and the conclusions he came to on the "secret" to raising children who were still walking with Christ as young adults.
Order my new book by clicking here:
Join my Free Facebook group on Marriage, Family, Parenting, and all from a Biblical Worldview:
https://www.healingmarriagecommunity.com/fbgroup (The Healing Marriage Community)
Courses, Coaching, & Speaking www.HealingLives.com
Podcast www.healinglivespodcast.com
YouTube www.youtube.com/c/drcoreygilbert
Monday Jul 08, 2019
Monday Jul 08, 2019
Gilbert, C. (2019). I can't say that: Going beyond the talk: Equipping your children to make choices about gender and sexuality from a biblical sexual ethic.
TAKING INVENTORY
In this episode, Dr. Gilbert speaks to parents who are walking with their children through "normal" developmental issues as well as more complex issues such as gender, sexuality, and body issues. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 instructs parents on the importance of having regular, consistent times of instruction with their children on the as they are going about the routine schedule of their day. Much of this instruction will be planting seeds that take root as they listen to our words and observe our own behavior. When the time comes for your children to make their own choices, will you have prepared them to make a decision from a biblical sexual ethic or will their decision come from what they have been taught by peers and the media they consume?
Parents, our children are watching us all the time and they are silently observing they way we relate to work, interact with other people, engage in a higher purpose, and take care of our physical and mental health. We must first take inventory of where we are in relationship to these things so that we can be a model of consistency and integrity.
Your Health
Are you taking care of yourself? Physically, mentally, emotionally?
Order my new book by clicking here:
Join my Free Facebook group on Marriage, Family, Parenting, and all from a Biblical Worldview:
https://www.healingmarriagecommunity.com/fbgroup (The Healing Marriage Community)
Courses, Coaching, & Speaking www.HealingLives.com
Podcast www.healinglivespodcast.com
YouTube www.youtube.com/c/drcoreygilbert
Friday Jul 05, 2019
Friday Jul 05, 2019
In this episode, Dr. Gilbert outlines his new book and workbook that equips parents to learn and instill in others a Biblical Sexual Ethic. Having "The Talk" with our children is often too little too late, but engaging in hundreds of micro-conversations can be life changing.
Gilbert, C. (2019). I can't say that: Going beyond the talk: Equipping your children to make choices about gender and sexuality from a biblical sexual ethic.
OUTLINE:
Chapter 1 - Your Story: Taking Inventory
Why Is This Book Different?
Why Do You Need This Book?
My Promise To You
Chapter 2 - Stop The Chain Of Ignorance
You Are Not Alone
The Change Begins With You
The Student Has Become The Teacher!
Chapter 3- Sex Ed For Parents
A Theology Of Sex
A Theology Of Marriage
Love, Sex, And Neuroscience
Anatomy
Chapter 4 - Talking To Your Kids
Birth To Age Five
Kinder To Elementary Age (6–10)
Middle School To High School (11–17)
Chapter 5 - Questions About Gender, Homosexuality, And Same-Sex Attraction
Gender Questions
Homosexuality
Same-Sex Attraction
Chapter 6 - What My Child is Facing Today
Pornography
Bullying
Influence And Idols
Chapter 7 - Raising Sexually Healthy Children
It Starts With You—The Parent
Boundaries And Choices
Managing Hurts, Failures And Disappointments
Chapter 8 - Singleness, The “M” Word, And Trauma
Singleness, Sexuality, And Dating
The “M” Word
Addressing Past Trauma
Chapter 9 - Building Your Personal Ethos
Building My Personal ETHOS
I Have A Plan
I Commit To Living By A Plan
Chapter 10 - The Power And Importance Of Community
Reminders And Challenges
Community
What’s Next?
Go Beyond the Book with the WORKBOOK where you can benefit from a walkthrough of Scripture and the book "I Can't Say That!" to build YOUR Biblical Sexual Ethic and prepare to lead and teach your children intentionally and with a plan.
Order my new book by clicking here:
Join my Free Facebook group on Marriage, Family, Parenting, and all from a Biblical Worldview:
https://www.healingmarriagecommunity.com/fbgroup (The Healing Marriage Community)
Courses, Coaching, & Speaking www.HealingLives.com
Podcast www.healinglivespodcast.com
YouTube www.youtube.com/c/drcoreygilbert